The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
