I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
