For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i now understand why vodka
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
