I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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