Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize