they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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