can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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