p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
