I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize