no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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