clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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