He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
