I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize