i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
