We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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