oh god the rape fog is back!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
