you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize