At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
