Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize