just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
