He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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