Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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