You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
