let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
