Screwed.edu
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
