her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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