May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I faked an abortion last night.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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