Whod you bang
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
