My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
They have beer where we have blood.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
