I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
