You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
