Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
