i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize