At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
