dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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