When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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