I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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