she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
