Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
