Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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