nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
they need to just BURY HIM!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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