Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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