thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize