Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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