Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
