about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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