I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
home. puking in laundry basket.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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