Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
