it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
