I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
