I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Nicole vs. Life
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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