When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
