i'm signing you up for texting rehab
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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