dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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