He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
