Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
