I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize