Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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