I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
