Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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