Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
