He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
