He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
And then he peed in my hair
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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