I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
