Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
