This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
