Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
A bitchslap is in order.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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