im holly from the hills drunk
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
