everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
