Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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