"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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