Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
