doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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