oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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